[1:59] Tommy’s career started at Up With People. In the course of that job he met Ken Blanchard, who changed his life. Tommy followed his footsteps to become a thought leader, speaker, and author.

Tommy sees his success as being based on ‘heart.’ He categorizes thought leaders as either arrogant about success or humble about their path to learning.

[4:39] Tommy says within minutes of entering an event he can tell if the CEO is respected and loved. You can choose to work every day on being humble, authentic, and honorable. It’s Not Just Who You Know is about ‘net giving,’ not networking. Net giving is where your heart should be when you meet people. Don’t sell yourself, but learn about others, and how you can serve them and give to them.

[12:03] Leadership books must deliver bottom line results. Tommy wrote about Return On Relationship (ROR) to steer people toward relationship building. Authentic relationships become lifelong customers. Tommy reveals the ‘magical’ key to monetizing relationships. Without this key, the relationship will fail. When you have a genuine interest in others, they will ask you, “What do you do? How can I help you?”

[18:16] As Tommy met leaders, he observed the ones that people particularly loved. He started taking notes, and listing leaders that he felt were servant leaders, and interviewed them. The greatest leaders are the ones that connect the head to the heart. People want to follow them.

[20:31] Tommy defines a great leader as one people choose to follow, because they love and are loved. Tommy uses the example of Roger Eaton, the global President of KFC. He is not just respected, but is loved by his people. Tommy talks on love in the workplace. Millennials will not follow you, unless they know that you are creating a place of goodness.

[27:38] Tommy wants a Maserati, but he won’t leave Lexus, because of service manager Kelly Kennedy. Kelly provides incredible customer service, and hugs Tommy every time he sees him. Any leader would want customers to feel about their staff the way Tommy considers Kelly.

[36:54] In building authentic relationships with people, the goal is not get on their Christmas card list. The goal is to be invited to their Christmas (or Chanukah) dinner. Make a list of the top 20 important people in your life, and ask what kind of relationship you have. Ask, how would you love and serve them more? It can transform your life. It takes time. Tommy discusses authentic philanthropy.

“I met a guy named Ken Blanchard, … and he changed my life. And I kind of followed his footsteps.”

“Let me tell you how many mistakes I’ve had … and what I learned from them. … That’s the kind of person I want to be.”

“If you want to become a heart-led, authentic, servant leader, it’s a choice. … You can work on being humble.”

“I wrote a whole book on changing your philosophy; not networking, but net giving.”

“‘Dyslexia is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, because it made me have grit, edge, and tenacity.”

“No,’ to me, means, ‘Work harder’!”

“When you build those types of relationships, people want to help and serve you.”

“The best salespeople in the country, they don’t look at their clients and customers as just a transaction.”

“You can build a culture of ROR, meaning you will build lifelong customers … that want to give you their business.”

“If you look up the word, ‘love,’ in the dictionary, it doesn’t say, ‘Not applicable, Monday through Friday, 9 to 5.’” — Steve Farber

“That’s an important thing to have; a spouse that wants you to be successful, and wants you to be grounded.”