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The Leadership Podcast

The Leadership Podcast

We Study Leaders

May 19, 2021

TLP255: Love ‘em or Lose ‘em

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Dr. Beverly Kaye is recognized internationally as a professional dedicated to helping leaders understand the practical “how-to” principles of employee development, engagement, and retention. She is the author of five books, all of which have stood the test of time and are applicable to today’s leaders. Bev shares her insights into why love is a powerful word for a leader, but how to frame it so that it doesn’t get misconstrued as “unconditional” love. 

Key Takeaways

[3:25] Most  issues leaders encounter are actually very common problems!

[4:35] Leaders have been missing the boat when it comes to human connection. We need to slow down and really get to know our staff.

[5:40] People are sick of meetings. They miss the watercooler chitchat. Well, guess what, you can do that in a virtual meeting too!

[7:15] It seems so simple to just ask how someone is doing, on an intentional and conscious level, yet we tend to make things way more complicated than it needs to be. Not everything needs to be a warm-up exercise or procedure!

[8:40] For leaders who aren’t “raised” in the human resource world, it’s a lot harder to take natural human cues and run with them and tune into them.

[9:40] Everyone these days has a personal brand, and no one was talking about this 20‒30 years ago. The self-importance of the individual has skyrocketed.

[11:00] You have to put your ego aside and say occasionally that you don’t know or even extend the question and ask your employees how’d they handle a situation.

[11:45] Dr. Bev shares her thoughts on leadership development and whether you should keep this in-house with your staff or extend these trainings to contractors or partners.

[14:10] Words like “love” and “family” used in a business setting seem to be a bit disjointed. A business is to make a profit at the end of the day, but there must be a way to incorporate a sense of community in the organization. Dr. Bev breaks down why love is important.

[18:35] Every work culture is so different. It can almost feel like a landmine to walk into a diverse organization and call the team a family.

[21:10] Perhaps family and love are too strong for your organization, but Dr. Bev offers suggestions on how these can show up in a different way.

[24:40] Content is lonely without context.

[26:20] Sometimes people cannot concentrate on what you’re trying to teach them until they get their griefs aired and out in the open. COVID-19 has hit us all hard; it’s important to use empathy and understanding to get the most out of your people. Don’t let them bottle up their emotions.

[28:15] Practice mentoring in the moment and see how it shows up for your team. Maybe you don’t need a full day of training when you can teach key concepts on the fly.

[30:40] Dr. Bev is hearing from all of her clients and colleagues right now that they’re overwhelmed. This is your opportunity to shine as a leader and help ease the burden.

[32:30] Dr. Bev shares an important values exercise to see whether the company culture fits your needs.

[33:40] You don’t figure out your values by being busy. You have to sit in silence.

[33:50] Listener challenge: Look around you; have you complimented your colleagues and/or staff recently? Take this time to practice a bit of appreciation for your people. Don’t take them for granted.


The Leadership Podcast is sponsored by W.S. Darley & Company.  

Founded in 1908, Darley remains a family owned and operated business, providing the highest quality equipment solutions to our country’s warfighters and firefighters.  

Learn more at darley.com and darleydefense.com


Quotable Quotes

“We have to get off of our pontificating about, ‘the things leaders should do’ and feed them ideas.” Share on X “There’s this thing called ego that gets in the way so easily, and it gets in the way more and more as people move up that ladder.” Share on X “What derails leaders? Ego is at the top of the list. Like, ‘I don’t need anybody else, I know what to do, I know who I am.’” Share on X “Before I close the door on an employee, I want to check out where should the love go. ‘When I hired you, it looked like a great match, what happened?’” Share on X

Resources Mentioned

  • Sponsored by: Pass-life.com. Coupon Code: Duty.
  • Connect with Dr. Bev: Bevkaye.com & Bev on LinkedIn
Beverly Kaye

These are the books mentioned in our conversation with Bev

Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em, Sixth Edition: Getting Good People to Stay

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Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em, Sixth Edition: Getting Good People to Stay
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Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em, Sixth Edition: Getting Good People to Stay

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: leadership, love

TLP254: Something is Going to Happen - Insigh...
TLP256: Don’t Wait

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