The Leadership Podcast co-hosts cover passive-aggressive behavior at work: Why it occurs; the toxic effect it has on people and the environment; ways to recognize it; and how to alter the conversation for a healthier culture.

Key Takeaways

[1:35] If you’ve got a question or an issue, just reach out to either Jim and Jan and they probably have a podcast episode to recommend to you! 

[2:50] Overview of passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace.

[3:20] Some people read sarcastic statements as passive-aggressive statements.

[4:15] The definition of passive-aggressive behavior.

[5:35] Passive-aggressive behavior often occurs among exceptionally smart people with a low tolerance for others not living up to their standard.

[9:10] Examples of what it looks like to be passive-aggressive.

[11:10] Our brains can only handle about 150 relationships, yet we ask so much from our people when they’re in 1,000-plus corporations. It’s hard to keep up with everything.

[12:10] Leaders are not thinking intentionally about how they want people to feel after they’ve interacted with them.

[13:45] Some leaders just want to be known as “nice.” Passive-aggressive behavior doesn’t fit into that narrative.

[18:10] The drama triangle explained.

[20:05] At the end of the day, you gotta work with everybody. You don’t have to like them, but you have to work with them.

[24:50] Our brains shrink when we’re grumpy! Practice joy instead.

[25:45] How to make people feel cared for at work.

[29:45] Most people aren’t trained to deal with deep-seated issues or problems, so leaders need to step in, be attentive, and guide their people through. You do that by providing your perspective, asking open-ended questions, and practicing active listening.

[32:05] “Are you operating with a sense of grace?”  

[34:05] Give your fellow human the benefit of the doubt. They’re doing the best they can. We all are.

[36:10] We used to live in a complicated world. We now live in a complex world.

[36:40] The one thing we can control is being nice to one another.

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Quotable Quotes

“It’s really not safe to use sarcasm with someone you don’t know really, really well.” Click To Tweet “Are these people going to be elevated and flourish under your interaction or are they going to be demoralized?” Click To Tweet “You’ve gotta work with everybody. You’ve got to get along. You don’t have to like everyone, but you’ve got to work with everybody.” Click To Tweet “What’s the legacy of each interaction I want to have? How do I want them to feel after I interact with them?” Click To Tweet

Resources Mentioned

• Sponsored by: Darley.com
• Karpman Drama Triangle