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The Leadership Podcast

The Leadership Podcast

We Study Leaders

June 12, 2019

TLP154: Facing Your Own Hypocrisy

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Jim and Jan tackle a topic that comes up quite a bit in leadership – ego. They discuss their definition of ego, and how it affects perception and ability to be a leader. Also discussed is the balance of confidence and humility, and how developing a feedback loop keeps our ego in check.

Key Takeaways

[4:01]  The most authentic leaders seem to have a very accurate understanding of who they are and how they are perceived. There are leaders of course that operate from ego almost completely, but the authentic ones gather more trust.  

[5:04] The more you see someone project their ego, the less they are actually comfortable with who they are. They are trying to be a certain way and live up to what they aren’t inside, but really want to be.

[7:42] A great leader is able to self regulate and realize it’s not all about them.

[8:44 The best supporters will put themselves to the side and listen to you intently without their own filters.

[11:07] You have to make sure your feedback loop is not corrupt. When you have power,  it’s easy to have people around only telling you what you want to hear, and that takes your ego further away from where it needs to be.

[12:30] Three questions to ask yourself consistently:

  1. What are you doing in team meetings that is helpful?
  2. What are you doing that isn’t helpful?
  3. If you can change how you interact with the team, what would it be?

[13:51] We will always make mistakes, and we must be humble enough to be open to learning and growing.

[16:10] The anchor point for ego is in the wrong spot when our worth and identity is directly correlated to our job or a certain status.

[17:53] People put on a display when they feel intimidated, or they get so overwhelmed that they mute the beauty that is within. The real artful networker knows how to comfort others so the real inner awesomeness can shine through.

[22:17] To face your own hypocrisy, you must have humility.

[23:37] How would you describe it to someone if it was similar to a lost piece of luggage or a coat you were checking?


How to Contact Jim & Jan


Quotable Quotes

  • “Listening is the highest form of respect.”
  • “Ask yourself – am I easy to follow?”
  • “Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your position goes, your ego goes with it.” – Colin Powell
  • “The peacocks are pretty, but not enjoyable and fun.”
  • “The ego is not a master in its own house.” Freud

Additional Links:

  • TLP047: Insights on How Individual Self-Awareness Affects Team Performance
Jim & Jan

These are the books mentioned in Jim and Jan’s podcasts.

The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure

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The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure
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The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure

When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing

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When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing
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When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

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All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
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All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

The Spirit of Leadership: Optimizing Creativity and Change in Organizations

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The Spirit of Leadership: Optimizing Creativity and Change in Organizations
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The Spirit of Leadership: Optimizing Creativity and Change in Organizations

The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence

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The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence
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The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence

The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

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The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life
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The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

THE COMPASS SOLUTION – A GUIDE TO WINNING YOUR CAREER

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THE COMPASS SOLUTION – A GUIDE TO WINNING YOUR CAREER
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THE COMPASS SOLUTION – A GUIDE TO WINNING YOUR CAREER

Team of Teams

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Team of Teams
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Team of Teams

Plato’s Lemonade Stand: Stirring Change into Something Great

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Plato’s Lemonade Stand: Stirring Change into Something Great
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Plato’s Lemonade Stand: Stirring Change into Something Great

Man’s Search For Meaning: The classic tribute to hope from the Holocaust

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Man’s Search For Meaning: The classic tribute to hope from the Holocaust
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Man’s Search For Meaning: The classic tribute to hope from the Holocaust

Grandstanding: The Use and Abuse of Moral Talk

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Grandstanding: The Use and Abuse of Moral Talk
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Grandstanding: The Use and Abuse of Moral Talk

The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion

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The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion
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The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion

The Power of Habit

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The Power of Habit
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The Power of Habit

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

How to Win Friends and Influence People

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How to Win Friends and Influence People
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How to Win Friends and Influence People

Practical Wisdom: The Right Way to Do the Right Thing

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Practical Wisdom: The Right Way to Do the Right Thing
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Practical Wisdom: The Right Way to Do the Right Thing

Choosing Courage: The Everyday Guide to Being Brave at Work

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Choosing Courage: The Everyday Guide to Being Brave at Work
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Choosing Courage: The Everyday Guide to Being Brave at Work

Discipline Is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control

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Discipline Is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control
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Discipline Is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control

The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of The Learning Organization

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The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of The Learning Organization
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The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of The Learning Organization

Look: A Practical Guide for Improving Your Observational Skills

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Look: A Practical Guide for Improving Your Observational Skills
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Look: A Practical Guide for Improving Your Observational Skills

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

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Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
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Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

Clarity: Business Wisdom to Work Less and Achieve More

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Clarity: Business Wisdom to Work Less and Achieve More
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Clarity: Business Wisdom to Work Less and Achieve More

The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less

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The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less

The Captain Class: The Hidden Force That Creates the World’s Greatest Teams

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The Captain Class: The Hidden Force That Creates the World’s Greatest Teams
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The Captain Class: The Hidden Force That Creates the World’s Greatest Teams

Strengths Finder 2.0

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Strengths Finder 2.0
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Strengths Finder 2.0

The Experience Economy

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The Experience Economy
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The Experience Economy

The Littlest Green Beret

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The Littlest Green Beret
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The Littlest Green Beret

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

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Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
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Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

The Future of Management

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The Future of Management
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The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

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The Five Dysfunctions of a Team
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The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

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Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us
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Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

Leaders: Myth and Reality

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Leaders: Myth and Reality
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Leaders: Myth and Reality

Dying for a Paycheck: How Modern Management Harms Employee Health and Company Performance and What We Can Do About It

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Dying for a Paycheck: How Modern Management Harms Employee Health and Company Performance and What We Can Do About It
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Dying for a Paycheck: How Modern Management Harms Employee Health and Company Performance and What We Can Do About It

The Responsible Company: What We’ve Learned From Patagonia’s First 40 Years

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The Responsible Company: What We’ve Learned From Patagonia’s First 40 Years
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The Responsible Company: What We’ve Learned From Patagonia’s First 40 Years

Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life

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Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life
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Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life

Dress for Success

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Dress for Success
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Dress for Success

Leaders Eat Last

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Leaders Eat Last
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Leaders Eat Last

Thinking Fast & Slow

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The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills — and Leave a Positive Impression!

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Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade

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Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

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The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

The Wisdom of Crowds

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The Wisdom of Crowds

Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter

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Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter
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Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter

Let’s Get Small

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Let’s Get Small
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Let’s Get Small

Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity

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Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity
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Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity

Leadership BS

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Leadership BS
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Leadership BS

Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data, and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are

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Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data, and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are

Philosophy for Life and Other Dangerous Situations: Ancient Philosophy for Modern Problems

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Philosophy for Life and Other Dangerous Situations: Ancient Philosophy for Modern Problems
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Philosophy for Life and Other Dangerous Situations: Ancient Philosophy for Modern Problems

Filed Under: Podcast

TLP153: Hearing Dissent is a Leadership Imper...
TLP155: Preparing for the Future of Work

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