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The Leadership Podcast

The Leadership Podcast

We Study Leaders

September 5, 2018

TLP114: The Art of Influence

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This week, Jim and Jan dig into the tie between emotional intelligence and sales. Organizations are moving away from manipulative tactics, and using using empathy and connection to influence others. They discuss the similarities between sales and leadership and how emotional intelligence can be learned. There are ways we can turn small talk into big relationships!

 

Key Takeaways

[3:03] There is an art to influencing that people find pleasant, rather than manipulative and pushy sales tactics.

[4:42] We live in a “me” world, and tend to think our actions have a bigger impact than they actually do.

[5:40] Back pressure is important for creating urgency or a call to action, but there’s only so much to create before you’re deemed as a royal pain. You can increase your odds not to need that one deal by having many options and activity.

[7:12] Leaders must take the time to gather feedback and assess whether something is a useful activity or is leading to a useful outcome.

[8:02] We also must understand the buying process, and how it differs from the selling process. Great influencers create the most frictionless path for buyers.

[10:33] One of the last thing that AI might learn is how to sell something, and it’s difficult the nuances of connection that comes with the bonding and chatting in person.

[14:27] The threads that make up great sellers and leaders are intertwined closely. The qualities that set people apart in both of them include self-awareness, authenticity, curiosity and an ability to truly connect.

[19:18] It’s natural to have hang-ups and walls up to protect ourselves. Jim and Jan find that the more teamwork exercises they do, the more likely people are to let these walls down and trust their group. [24:01] A few key characteristics of a strong emotional intelligence and ability to influence

  • Have an accurate self image.
  • Be authentic and comfortable in your own skin.
  • Your words should match your feelings.
  • Your actions should align
  • Ask questions

[27:55] Small talk is easier to learn than people think. Get out of your own way, and ask simple questions, then really listen to the answer.

How to contact Jim & Jan:

Quotable Quotes

  • “Everyone’s an influencer.”
  • “The real anecdote to something not closing is having more things that could close.”
  • “To have a lot of different options you need activity.”
  • “In sales you are irrelevant, and the buyer has all the power.”
  • “Forget about you, if you want to influence others.”
  • “Great relationships are critical to success in both sales and leaderships.”

Other References:

  • #101: General Stanley McChrystal on What Connects Us
  • Principles of Persuasion
  • Year Million
Jim & Jan

These are the books mentioned in Jim and Jan’s podcasts.

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The Power of Habit

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When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing

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All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

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The Spirit of Leadership: Optimizing Creativity and Change in Organizations

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The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence

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The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

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THE COMPASS SOLUTION – A GUIDE TO WINNING YOUR CAREER

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Team of Teams

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Plato’s Lemonade Stand: Stirring Change into Something Great

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Man’s Search For Meaning: The classic tribute to hope from the Holocaust

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Grandstanding: The Use and Abuse of Moral Talk

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Philosophy for Life and Other Dangerous Situations: Ancient Philosophy for Modern Problems

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The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure

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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

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How to Win Friends and Influence People

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How to Win Friends and Influence People

Practical Wisdom: The Right Way to Do the Right Thing

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Choosing Courage: The Everyday Guide to Being Brave at Work

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Discipline Is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control

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The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of The Learning Organization

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Look: A Practical Guide for Improving Your Observational Skills

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Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

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Clarity: Business Wisdom to Work Less and Achieve More

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The Littlest Green Beret

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The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

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Dying for a Paycheck: How Modern Management Harms Employee Health and Company Performance and What We Can Do About It

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The Responsible Company: What We’ve Learned From Patagonia’s First 40 Years

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Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life

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